this really sucks.

I have mono. So, no tri. more later, maybe. i'm pretty bummed right now.

(don't worry, i'll still do the chicago tri in august with TNT)

derailed

So Sara might have been right- went to the doctor today and got a blood test for mono. I should know later this week what's up. Had a fever of 101 all weekend, so... I did swim on Friday and run on Saturday. The doc today said I shouldn't run, in case of enlarged spleen, but swimming and biking are ok i guess. He said it just won't feel very good. Honestly, I just don't think exercising right now is the best idea. If I do have mono, I think it's pretty safe to say the Elkhart Tri is cancelled for me, and I will just focus on the Chicago Tri at the end of August (wherein I will do the olympic distance)

So, that all stinks. But what can you do.

I survived on tylenol this weekend, and enjoyed seeing a friend from NYC and going to a wedding at U of Chicago. I also made a new friend, who is going to bike with me. Guess I will focus now on fixing up some artwork and my website and making a few jewelry pieces, I guess! and my research... should probably work on that so I can be *officially* done with school forever.

Sunday Scrabble in the park

Photo credits: Sara E

Turns out Sara and Josy are formidable opponents- Pionek? not so much. :)

Headache has finally gone away, so going to try to do a bit of exercising this week- walked to Millenium park yesterday with friends and played scrabble and was EXHAUSTED afterward... whatever I had wiped me out, and I'm taking it as easy as I can today. Have a couple of long days ahead, so we'll see what gets done tri-wise. Hopefully bike today, swim tomorrow, run wed and bike thurs. Maybe try to get some bricks in (run+bike). I haven't done an intense brick yet, and everyone I talk to says they are the most important workout you can do before a tri, since the switch from biking to running feels really weird.

bring it!

worried

I am sick since Thursday with some sort of intense headache that hurts when i move my eyes- like blinking, or sudden movements. My neck also hurts when i move it, and my lymph nodes are swollen and tender to touch. I've been googling my symptoms all day yesterday, and i'm pretty sure it's not a migraine- even though i am nauseous, because I don't have sensitivity to light. It might be a sinus infection, but I don't have the fever, and my head isn't ridiculously stuffed. mysterious.

But, this means I haven't been training the past 3 days and i'm getting a little worried. I never, ever, intended to take time off from training for school, let alone then getting sick. I was just thinking the other day how amazing it has been that I haven't been sick all year- not even a cold, and chalked it up to exercising 6 days a week. I guess, maybe, since I stopped for 2 weeks, my defenses got weakened and now I'm sick? I dunno, but if the headache is still around on Monday I'm going to a doctor. I need to get back on track with training!!!!

this is all very discouraging, and I'm rather worried. rah.

alright kids, here it is

the.... WETSUIT!!


And a video- yeah, it was EXACTLY like this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daiHgI5OKpQ&feature=related

I really want to wear it on the bus and convince people I'm a super hero.

Any other ideas for uses other than swimming in cold water?

This is my tri top and tri shorts.


Exciting stuff. Lots of feeling like a porpoise and spandex. Oh man what have I gotten myself in to.... :)

here is a story about my dad

but first, a quick update- swam about 1700 y on Tues, and my trapezius is so sore! yesterday i ran and my stomach was very nasty, but it still felt good to run. today i bike. the weather has been horrible- 40s and raining. plus I think I'm getting sick, so it's very hard to leave the apartment. Oh, also, got my wetsuit and TNT tri top yesterday so, pictures of them later on in the day. good for a laugh...

but my dad. SO. A few months ago I went home, and my dad was like, hey, heidi, i have something to show you. So I followed him to the study, where he had a treadmill!! He had bought it at goodwill for like 5 bucks or something and proceeded to show me how he uses it. My dad, who, btw, is 6'4... got on the treadmill and held on to the rails with both hands on either side of the treadmill and showed me how he "walked" every morning, for about 15 minutes... the thing was, my dad is tall, and holding on to the rails that were lower than waist height for him, made him almost double over while he was walking. I asked him, "dad, why do you hang on to the rails?" he answered, like I was an idiot, "so I don't fall off, Heidi!!" "dad, you know that if you just keep walking you won't fall off, right?" "no, you can't be sure of that Heidi, because you see, the tread just keeps going." By now I was doubled over myself, laughing. My dad is not a stupid man. But no, he is not athletic. He is strong, and does lots of yardwork and builds things like sheds and fireplaces and cars, but we were lucky to get him to play catch with us when we were little. He and my mom were always sort of more curious than proud at my interest in track and high jump. Like, they never quite understood WHY I would want to run in a circle or jump over a bar. They came to my meets almost more out of curiosity, I think. I'm not sure my dad had ever been on a treadmill except for stress tests before he bought one himself. So, seeing him doubled over doing his "workout" and looking at me like I was insane for thinking he was insane, was just hilarious.

I got on the treadmill and showed him how I run on it without holding on to anything, and see? I don't fall off. Then my mom, who was watching all this, asked if, since I was running, could the floor handle it and wouldn't I fall through the floor?

oy.

which all means not a whole lot of this

Training has been at worse than a standstill. Between everything going on, it's a bit insane. I haven't run, biked, or swam in what feels like years. I deliberately took today off so I can get back on schedule tomorrow, with a swim at 7, when I get my wetsuit!! whoohoo! I plan on not missing another practice until the tri, which is about a month away.

I haven't exercised in so long that I feel a marked difference in my energy levels and concentration levels. I also haven't been eating well, spending immense amount of time behind my computer, and forgetting to do many basic things like eating and showering. I know, I know. I just get into work zones, and notice very little else. I cleaned my room and the guineas today and feel much better being surrounded by cleanliness again. Time to get back on track before things pick up again!

and also this:

WHOOHOOOOOO!!!!

My Etsy-ness

A few weeks ago I was at a fabric store by school getting supplies for a school project. I found a bin full of appliques, and this deep purple one that called out to me to make something out of it. I immediately thought of stringing it around my neck or wrist as a sort of bracelet. I left the shop without buying any because they didn't sell clasps or chains, and I really wasn't sure how to make jewelry. I decided to check out the other stores along the street, and one of them was a jewelry-making bead store. I started talking to the owner and described my idea of a necklace to her, and we decided I should go buy those appliques and come back over and pick out some chains to match. So, I ran across the street and bought the deep purple applique and some other ones that I liked, and then went back to the jewelry store and bought some chains and clasps. I ended up talking with her for about an hour, as we discussed ideas about how to make these necklaces. She suggested putting two clasps on the chain, since then you could swap the chain with many different appliques.

The rest is history. I researched jewelry making, found a website that sold more chains and clasps, and bought a bunch of chains and appliques. Yesterday I made about 14 necklaces and bracelets, and listed them on Etsy, I worked on them all day, took pictures, listed them, and fell asleep around 4am. Good times.

So, this is how I'm going to pay rent this summer! I'll see how well it goes over, and then add beads and other jewels to them, maybe try to sell them in a craft store or something... we'll see. The possibilities are endless! I love them all and want to keep them all for myself...

http://www.etsy.com/shop/DijoDesigns

Also check the Etsy link at the bottom of my blog page.

let's chatch up in several posts.

a lot has happened, my friends.

First off. This article is about a mushroom farm I used to work on back in 2002. I am now (hopefully) going to be selling mushrooms for them at farmer's markets around Chicago. I am really excited about this, I have had a LOT of jobs, but this one, by far, was one of my favorites. Stay tuned.

http://www.jsonline.com/features/food/92709759.html?referrer=facebook

Apollo

run like mad

i missed the swim yesterday and the run this morning (school work! schoooool worrrrrrk!) and today after sitting at my desk for an insane amount of time, i just had it. I threw some running clothes on, grabbed my music and went to the lake. And then i ran. like a madwoman. at a sprint, i couldn't help it. my legs flew fast and my breath barely kept up. all along the lake. passing tons of people, so many people out today. i saw an old man with knee socks up to his knees, and then knee pads on, i saw two foreign tourists taking pictures of homes along oak street, i passed two British girls sitting along the lake, and many, many, very affectionate couples (ugh), two middle aged men of the same build and baldness level wearing nearly matching clothes (only different colors) running very slow, a woman with a walker and a basket full of bags, two girls who looked like they belonged on the Hills walking a small white dog, a group of guys with a volleyball heading to the beach volleyball nets, lots of guys running with their shirts off, lots of girls who looked like they hadn't been outside or exercising since last November wearing "cute" workout clothes trying to impress aforementioned guys with shirts off, a couple that took up the ENTIRE right side of the pathway at a very busy place, a woman in military fatigues, and a group of 15 people wearing matching purple tshirts. fat, old, skinny, young, fit, pale, dark, men, women, foreign, local, feeble... anyone, and everyone.

and then i sat and stretched. and saw pristine white sailboats, and a cruise ship, and a grey blue sky brimming with clouds, and a blue lake with grey reflecting circles of sky, and a (finally) distant city, where all the noise in the world emanated from, muffled, distant, and surrounded by blue.



it was a good run.

why hello there.

So, confession.

I took the last 5 days off of training.

School is just nuts- I walk in commencement next Thursday, and the majority of my immediate family is coming, and I have about 10 pieces of artwork to get done before then, and a few presentations, and I also picked up jewelry making (more on that later) last Friday. I am still working on my etsy account. stay tuned. no really, do stay tuned. It's how I plan on paying my rent this summer...

Anyways, I'm on hyper-drive right now, which means little sleep and I hardly notice until i absolutely CRASH (happened yesterday). I DID bike to school today, the windiest day of my life- 24mph winds! And, it's spring in the city, which means pollen in the air, and since it's spring the road construction is coming out, so there was a lot of debris in the air. At times it felt like I was being exfoliated with city dirt. Awesome. I also was biking with a v. heavy bag (laptop, sketchbooks, etc.) which threw me off balance. HOWEVER, while it was not ideal, or the most lovely ride of my life, I did feel SO GOOD afterward, and still do, and will probably do some core work to keep up the good feelings.

I'll most likely do my Friday swim tomorrow, and the brick workout on Saturday (it's along the lakefront). We get our wetsuits Saturday. exciting. But those will probably be the last workouts until That Time Which is After Friday. when my semester is finally, really and truly, over.

here' is a smidgen of my latest piece- spent all day yesterday working on it, and enjoyed it immensely!


Oh, and a little story for you if you're interested: I bought my cap and gown today. It was funny, my gown size was on the cusp of two different sizes, so she had me try it on in the store, and when I put it on, I put my arms all the way through the sleeve, and the sleeve end was sown shut. I looked at her with a horrified expression, where did my hands go? and then she explained to me that masters gowns have "wings" and there is a hole before the end of the sleeve that you put your hands through. We both laughed pretty hard. In fact, I could hardly stop laughing. oh man.

edited

illustrations, designs, projects get edited a million times before they are done. Here are the edits I worked on this weekend. The invite is finished, the muscle fiber still needs color! I also am working on a spine. yep, training is pretty much on hold until the end of the semester....

Physical vs. Mental

me, pictured with Shen, after running the Ras Na Heireann in Davis Square, 2008!

Today is the day of the Boston Marathon!!! Congrats to my good friend Shen, who ran it in 4:39:23, her first marathon. Truly an inspiration.

A word on mental training- at this point in training I feel as though I am pretty much set physically- I have the routine down, I am leaner and more fit than I've been since track in college 7 years ago, I can run, bike, and swim further than ever in my life. But, I get bored. and lazy. and still give up easily if it hurts or if I'm tired. I skip workouts. I rationalize. Mentally, I am not prepared.

There are two parts to endurance training, and athletics in general: the mental and the physical. Mental training consists of endurance, plain and simple. It is about finishing the course, going the distance, not giving up, not listening to all the voices in your head telling you to walk or coast or stand in the pool. I have made progress in this area, but not enough. It's time to buckle down and get a move on.

When I think back to when I started swimming, my very first practices, while in the pool I would hear my mom's voice say, "what are you doing? you're not a swimmer! you're not an athlete. we aren't athletic. you're going to drown and get yourself killed for something stupid. don't be ridiculous, Heidi." Now, whether or not my mom ever actually said those things to me, or believes them (she doesn't), I still heard them in my head. And it panicked me, and made it difficult to do workouts. I would think of all the horrible ways I could die in a pool, and everything I would miss out on in such a lame death. But in the same thought I would think how ridiculous I was being, and say to myself "just stick your head in the water and swim, for petes sake, you whiny baby." That would make me laugh, and usually my head was under water so i'd then swallow some water and cough and have to start all over again, but the thought was there- suck it up, buck up, get it done. And now that I am so much more comfortable in the water, those negative death-thoughts are never present. I never hear them. The only thing I hear is "I can do this. this is so easy. MAN, i love to swim. I get to stretch my long frame completely and move my arms in perfect rhythm... I'm practically a mermaid." which then makes me laugh and sputter and I need to start all over again.

What I'm saying, and what I learned in track so many years ago in college, is that my body is so much more stronger than I give it credit for. If I could just boost my mental perseverance, I think I would amaze myself at what I can accomplish.

I always admired this mental trait in my friend Shen, who ran the marathon today. When given a task, she sets her nose to the ground and doesn't quit until it's done. A negative thought never enters her mind- I bet she was just as cheerful at the beginning of the marathon as she was at the end- she is that kind of person. Quitting or not finishing or walking are not options in her mind.

So, this is my task for the last 2 months of training. Suck it up, buck up, get it done. There is a course laid out, and it's my job to show up and run the course.

and have fun.

sun soaked

If I could live outside, I would. I love the outdoors, in all weather, at all times. One of my absolute favorite things to do, ever, hands down, is to read in the grass outside, in the summer, in the sun. I could do this all day.

Yesterday I went for a run, which quickly turned into a nap in the grass. I ran to Buckingham Fountain, and then found a patch of grass to stretch, and then napped for a bit before running back. The greatest thing about lying in the sun is that you smell like the sun for hours afterward- it soaks into your skin and hair and you smell warm and like summer. bliss.

Anyway, I have a lovely hour long bike ride this morning, and then a stretch and strength class. The weather looks gorgeous again today, so I think I'll try out my tri shorts again. ah, spandex. bane of my existence...

i just couldn't wait to share this

Swimming update!

Today I swam a 1200!!!!!! egads!!

Times:

I swam a 400 in 8 minutes, and the full 1200 in 32 minutes. My first 400 2 months ago, I swam in 15 minutes!!

INCREDIBLE!!

I think I slowed down because I got bored somewhere in the middle, and then I got water in my goggles because my goggles were too tight. I wasn't really tired. Even now my arms don't hurt... we'll see about tomorrow.

WHOOHOOO!!!

pro.duct.ivity

After a ridiculous week last week, today was REST day for the tri.

So, I:

- did 4 loads of laundry
- cleaned the bathroom
- cleaned the guinea pig cage thoroughly
- read 80 pages of patho and took an online test
- took an advanced ballet class (waaaay over my head, i loved every minute of it)
- went grocery shopping
- went to the beach and read some patho there
- talked to a friend i hadn't talked to since last august
- re-instated my twitter account: follow me at DijoHS

the only thing I didn't get done was the illustration I was supposed to have finished for my internship tomorrow. And I still need to eat dinner. I might stay up late and finish the illustration- I really love my internship and want it to go well!! But I also don't want to be exhausted tomorrow... got that swim after my internship. ah, well.

I think I'm starting to realize I can't do everything. Days this productive are few and far in between, and I still didn't get everything done I wanted to. But I also don't want to cut anything out. But in 4 weeks school will be done forever, so there's that.

on freedom and the mini tri AND the fundraiser

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Somehow, I feel as though triathlon training and the purging of my life that I have done lately belong together, and belong on this blog. I deleted my facebook and twitter accounts on Thursday. Recently, I have been inundated with a barrage of ridiculousness that I can't quite figure out, since everything in my school and personal life, while difficult, has been for the most part enjoyable. For the first time in my life I feel accomplished as an artist, and as a student- I am learning what I really want to learn. I made it a point to follow my heart this year, and it has paid me back one hundred fold already. Triathlon training and TNT is part of that heart-following, and the discipline and physical benefits amplify every other part of my life. It is full of sacrifices, to follow my heart, but every sacrifice has enough benefits to make it worth it. Every day I work harder on becoming the person I want to be, and facebook and twitter just weren't in that image of myself.

For those of you who watch South Park, basically I just won at Yahtzee.

Yesterday we did a mini tri- a 10 minute swim, 30 minute bike, and 20 minute run. It was difficult, but definitely doable. When I woke up yesterday morning, I almost didn't go. I wasn't feeling well, I hadn't slept well, and just didnt feel I could do the entire workout without being in immense pain. But, I went, and somewhere in the middle of the run, I felt really really good about being there. And after it was all over, I felt amazing. Exercise has that fascinating capability to do a 180 on your mood in an hour. I also proved to myself, once again, that when you absolutely do NOT feel like doing something, most often that is exactly when you should do it. Sounds backwards, but so true.

Last night was the fundraiser. A lot of my classmates came out and supported me, and we had so much fun. I am forever indebted to them for their support, it really is amazing and inspiring. I also love having artist-friends who are so easy going and creative and fun and free- constantly inspiring me to be the same in my life and art. Sometimes thought is overrated, you just need to stop thinking and simply. be.

so again, thank you Pionek, Brake, Annie, Michaela, Elissa, and Joelle for being so awesome!! It means a lot to me, but it also means a lot to the people trying to cure cancer, and trying to fight it. Of this i am convinced.

ps. I'm an aunt!

Meet Wyatt Michael Williams, my nephew! And the most handsome mammal.*

*silver panther