would anyone who reads this hate me if i made the blog public?

I'm thinking if I make the blog public then I might get more donations. Speak now or forever...

This is the picture of a champion (me). In case you were wondering.

running is hard

Ran today, temperature 27 degrees, wind speed 17mph. That makes for a pretty painful run, running into the wind that was so very bitter. I wore three layers on top and two layers on the bottom. I don't think I ate enough before I ran, as I ran out of energy very soon into the run. The wind created a dry mouth and throat in minutes... ah bler. But the lake was lovely as usual, a nice winter gray-green, and the sky a pearly winter gray.

My friend Pionek is awesome at finding recipes for me to make, so I bought all the ingredients for this delicious pasta dish. I can't wait to make it and refuel!!

The pain in my right foot was worse after the run... so we'll see what happens with that. Other then that, I need to push myself a bit harder in my runs and not take walking breaks. It is just difficult for me to pace myself. Great thing about the run today, I listened to Florence + the Machine the entire run, and looooved it! I just bought their cd Lungs last night. It is fantastic, the soundtrack to the indie movie I must make someday... have a listen. There's a lot of good mashups and remixes of their stuff too. Ah, to live in London to see them play!

Florence + The Machine - Drumming Song Video by Florence and The Machine - MySpace Video - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

i have gills!

Ok, maybe not quite gills, but something magical happened tonight with my swim training. After our 100 warm-up, the coaches said, OK, now do a 400 continuously. I have never, ever swam that far in my life. Inside, I thought to myself, "OH CRAP!!! I'M NOT READY!!!!" and "WHAT IF I DROWN!!! THIS ISN'T THE WAY I WANT TO GO!" but I gamely stuck my head in the water, and started propelling my arms through the resistance. About halfway through the 400, the magic began. I felt a difference in my arms. They were pulling my body through the water, it was no longer just my kicking legs that moved my body through the water. I realized I was keeping my elbow bent longer underwater. And that was pulling me faster and with less effort on my legs to the other side. It. was. magical.

There is always that moment, when you learn something new, when it clicks. It is for this click that I will ALWAYS be learning something new, be it guitar, a language, swimming, endurance racing, how to fix a scooter... I live for that click. If you have ever learned something new, you know what I am talking about. It is the most rewarding feeling, after all the effort of kicking my legs so hard and getting nowhere, and ending up exhausted, to finally realize, I got it. I am ok. This tri is going to happen. I am going to dominate.

My coaches complimented me on my improvement from last week. They said my stroke looked stronger and I was more relaxed in the water. whoohoo! i love encouragement like that.

This is going to be a good tri, you guys.

confessional

I might have not got in my 35 minute run yesterday, due to excessive work at the internship and the slippery weather. and my exhausted legs, including my super sore hamstrings. which were a direct result from the spinning class the day before. "Ah well," I thought to myself, "Monday is a rest day, I will just run then." Unfortunately, that didn't happen either, as my graduate assistantship held me up the entire day, and the cold rain sapped every desire for me to run, after i arrived home at 7pm tonight, unfed. (the details are rationalizations).

This is the first time I've missed a workout, and I was really looking forward to a nice long run. Unfortunately, we can't all be heroes, and at least I didn't buy either of those donuts I walked by today that so seductively called my name. Tomorrow is the swim, at which I am looking forward to using my goggles, as alien as they make me look. I know I will be exhausted tomorrow, but stronger for it. There has always been one point during my swim workouts when I think, "I am too tired, I am going to sink. I cannot kick one more kick." But I always keep going and finish the workout, so let's face it, that thought is a lie.

Let's talk about those goggles. I spent a good hour picking out those goggles. I kept taking them out of their packaging and pressing them to my face to see if they fit. After awhile I stopped trying to get them back into the package and just left a trail of goggles in the aisle. Sorry, employees at Sports Authority. Anyway, I picked these b/c they are designed for a female and were comfortable from the first time I put them on. I also like that they are tinted, so hopefully I won't be able to see what's in the water, because let's face it, I'm not so much afraid of the water as I am of what's IN the water.

I left the store with red marks around my eyes and on my nose from suctioning so many goggles to my face. You guys, I am awesome.

i got new goggles

My legs are pistons of DOOM.

I learned to spin today.


No, not that kind of spin. THIS kind:

ah, bler.

I went to go swim today, but.... the pool was closed because someone threw up in it. Awesome.

So I went across campus to the other pool and was constantly shuffled around lanes because of classes and practices going on. I still got about an hour workout in and feel more confident swimming. I attempted to breathe every 3rd stroke, which meant breathing on both my right and left sides. It still feels weird to breathe on my left side, I tend to inhale more water than air. Anyway, because of the pool closure, the rest of my night was messed up, so here's to a new start tomorrow!

It was funny, I was just about to enter the athletic facility on west campus when I got a phone call from Brian, one of my coaches with TNT. I said hey! I'm on my way to work out! and he laughed and said, don't worry I'm not calling to check in that you are working out, Heidi. He just wanted to know if I had any questions or concerns. He's a funny guy. I mentioned the pain in my right foot, and he said they'll check it out tomorrow. Tomorrow we have a 7:45 am spin and running and bike or something clinic- I'll need to look it up, I can't keep track. Yay for early morning workouts!

Surprisingly, since I started training 3 weeks ago, I haven't missed a single workout. Let's hope I can keep it up as the semester progresses. I am finding myself surprisingly competitive in my training, wanting to beat everyone around me at everything- biking, running, swimming. Even in ballet.

My neck is sore from swimming and other tales of woe.

I woke up today and my neck is sore, and I'm pretty sure it's from swim practice last night. Turning your head from side to side doing freestyle constantly for an hour apparently is strenuous. Also apparent, just simply moving in ways you wouldn't normally at least an hour a day exhausts and strengthens and builds muscle. oy.

Went for a run tonight, wore way too many layers, and was exhausted even before I started. I'm having trouble keeping up with everything, and when it's cold I would sometimes just rather stay inside, especially after I've been running around all day. Still, the run was really lovely and I couldn't help sitting and just staring at the waves hitting huge piles of sparkling ice as the sun set behind the city...

Swim practice last night was less than ideal, as I realized three things:

1. I have a bit of anxiety when expected to swim with other people around.
2. My goggles are useless.
3. It is hard to "catch your breath" when surrounded by water. Really hard.

I borrowed my coach's goggles, but his were so clear, that I thought I was above water when I was still under and started taking breaths under water... bad idea. My coaches kept saying to me, "Heidi, your stroke looks great, what's your deal?" and then I explained how I wasn't really used to, and by that I mean I never had to "work out" while swimming. I mean, I was sweating by the time we were finished. It was probably helped by the fact that I swam as fast as I could to the other side to just be able to hold on to the wall. I tried to slow down while swimming, but then I felt like I was in slow motion. This is going to take some getting used to!

I also kept picturing this ad while swimming and looking at the bottom of the pool, which didn't really help my anxiety...

a day off

**The first is a picture of the city going over the bridge, the second is a picture of my very snowy trail, and the ice in the lake- it forms these giant circles in some places. The third is a picture of the aquarium. The part the over looks the lake has a trail going around it that is quite beautiful.**


Yesterday I had a day off from workouts... my first in 5 straight days. I feel like I'm back in college, doing track. I am surprisingly not very sore today.

On Sunday I went for a bike ride outside in 25 degree weather. It was, overall, not fun. I went at sunset, so the scenery was gorgeous, as I biked along the lake. But I need to buy those spandex running pants for winter, some warmer clothes. I wore four layers on my top half, and that kept me relatively warm, but after an hour, everything was cold. I even wore a scarf. Which was a great decision. It was supposed to only be a 35 minute bike ride, but turned into an hour b/c I went south along the lake, and there was about a quarter mile stretch that was not shoveled, and had huge drifts of snow that I dragged my bike through. I didn't turn around, because I was committed by the time I figured out the snow went on pretty far. I also wanted to bike down to the aquarium and look over the lake, so I would have to go through the snow to get there. I like to bike there because it's so pretty and quiet, and that was the first bike ride I ever took after I moved to this city and has remained one of my favorites. I finally got down there, and it was lovely, as usual. The sun was just setting, and I could see through the huge aquarium window the dolphins and trainers finishing up. The colors were amazing, all blues and golds and white snow... anyway.

Getting back, I decided to cut across downtown so I wouldn't have to drag my bike through the snow again. Since I wasn't wearing a helmet or a light, I walked my bike about a mile west on sidewalks crowded with Valentine Day go-ers. (note to self- the bike lane on Wells starts at Erie). I'm not sure how much I actually biked consecutively, but I was out for about an hour. Again, too cold. Won't be doing that anytime soon.

Tonight is the group swim. Feeling much better about it after Friday's swim. I am also going to send out another email asking for fundraising monies today! whoot! It's going to be shorter than the first one... and then I'm going to work on the leukocyte painting and Thank You cards, which I can't wait to send out and show you all! whoop!

The air will always be there,

Swimming is fun.

I swam for about an hour Friday night, and loved it. Absolutely loved it. I was intimidated- I didn't know how to get to the pool from inside the locker room, and if I really needed to shower before I went in the pool, if I really needed a swim cap, etc... but I am doing a lot of "getting over myself" when it comes to this triathlon stuff. I found the pool, and spent an hour reteaching myself the front stroke.

It went like this- first I swam the length of the pool, remembered to relax and breathe (the air will always be there! we were told this in training), and then I slowly recalled the videos we watched last week, and all their tips. First I remembered to rotate my body with each stroke, so that my body cut the water on its side, rather than flat on- I reduced my surface drag, is another way to think about it. Then, once I had that mastered and felt comfortable with it, I remembered to make sure my eyes were looking directly down, and to bring my head to the side for a breath without bringing it up out of the water. A few laps and when I had that down, I thought about the videos again, and remembered when bringing your arms out of the water, to make sure the elbows are always higher than your hands. After that was mastered, I perfected my breathing, and so on, until I was feeling very comfortable with the front stroke. It reminded me a lot of learning piano when I was young- slowly, surely, never moving on until I was comfortable with what I had just learned.

It takes time, these things. Learning to swim, learning ballet steps, learning guitar, learning new software (Z brush), learning about circuits and how to use a saw, and learning about finance and investing... sometimes I get overwhelmed at all the new things I am learning right now, but then I remind myself, that slowly, gradually, if I just do a little each day, I will eventually just be able to sit down and play a few songs on the guitar, do a couple laps without thinking about it, whip out an awesome art project... over time, this will all become second nature, like piano is for me now. Patience... another lesson taught by this triathlon.

Went for a long, long run today since I didn't get up for the group run this morning (the guilt! the guilt!) and my calves are so tight. I am certain it's from ballet, because when I go up on my toes my gastrocs are killing me. Working out this much is really giving me a lot of time to think, another thing that is keeping me more relaxed and calm in all this training. In some ways I wish I could just skip ahead to when I'll be in shape and have all this learned, but in others, I am having quite a bit of fun seeing my small successes (I can run much further now, and swim! my front stroke has never been better!) and just learning about my limits.

As always, the support is inspiring too. Knowing I am doing all this for a good cause is making it so much more rewarding.

35 minute bike tomorrow- I intend to do it outside, and see how far along the lakefront I can go. I might bring my camera, so stay tuned for photos.

i had to share this snowman

Made this today with classmates Josy and Sara. They did most of the work, as I had to leave to get a bike workout in at the gym before it got too crowded. Can I just say, I finally figured out the bikes and how they work! You just have to start pedaling, and they turn on. awesome. 30 minute bike ride and I was covered in sweat- what is it with biking that makes you sweat so much more than running? Odd.

Then I went off to ballet and had a really good class- there is just something about ballet... I laughed over the fact that I could do the steps I knew really well, but throw a new step at me and I am all gangly limbs. Ah well. Ballet is a really good stretch.

I also stopped in at Sports Authority today and drooled over the high quality workout gear they have. When did i become an athlete? Am I an athlete? I still feel out of place in sports stores, but am incredibly jealous of all the awesome clothing they have... and know it won't be soon before I start buying some of it. For instance, they had hats with a silk lining in it so your hair doesn't get messed up- hello! I've been saying they should do that for awhile...

Some of it is a rip off, like lightweight "running gloves" for 24 dollars that have a key pouch. I just wear those 5 dollar knit ones and hold my keys. Works just as well. I had to keep telling myself that just because they sell it, doesn't mean you need it. I do want a nice pair of running tights though. Never thought I'd say that, as against spandex as I am!

I just want to speed ahead to the end of the month when I know I'll be able to bike and run further with less pain...

swimming slow start

OH before anything- thank you again everyone who donated- as of last week I was the top fundraiser for my tri, and I get a prize this coming Saturday for being one of the first to send out 100+ emails asking for funds. So, thank you all!!!!

So, I was supposed to have my first swim practice last Saturday at UIC, and even cut my Friday evening (bowling with the classmates) short so I wouldn't be super tired for the morning swim. However, when I got to UIC in the morning, they had double booked the pool with TNT and the boy scouts, and the scouts won, so we just watched some swimming videos and had a impromptu fund raising seminar. We also had Firoza, a leukemia survivor talk about her illness and involvement with TNT. I will just quote our training newsletter this week because it really summed it up: What she said really puts life (and training... and fundraising...) in perspective. She said it best - "Thank you. Thank you for just being here." She started crying, I teared up, and it's really amazing to think about the other side of health- which you never think about when you're healthy.

I tuck these inspirations away for when training gets hard.

So, Saturday was a disappointment, and then I was supposed to have swim practice tonight, but am stranded by the snow in Wisconsin. I am going for a run on my dad's treadmill after I finish this post- about 35 minutes tonight. I didn't workout Saturday or Sunday, so this will feel good, I imagine.

On Friday I ran to the lake, and wisely chose to run when it began sleeting. The winds were horrible, and I basically got to the lake, thought to myself, what am I doing here... I wasn't properly dressed, so I just turned around and ran home. Still about 20 minutes running. My roommate was laughing when I came back in the door and said "Boy was that stupid." She said she was inspired when I left to go for a run in that weather, but then thought, or Heidi is really foolish. Yeah, foolish is more like it! :)

I did feel slightly guilty just giving up, when everyone has been so generous so far donating, but well... it was windy! and the sleet hurt!

Alright, I'm off to run, and that reminds me, I have a funny story about my dad and the treadmill. For next time.

di

ketsup catch up

Yup, been awhile since I wrote. I worked out 5 times last week and had the appetite to show for it. Instead of ordering the regular 6 inch at subway, I ordered the footlong and had it finished in 20 minutes. Eating, actually, has been the biggest challenge last week- as my day to day schedule is never the same, it is difficult to find time to make food, buy food, and eat food. Especially when I need to remember to not eat before a workout. Part of the learning process!

Last Wednesday was the tri gear clinic, where I learned several things that I didn't know- apparently i need to buy special tri bike shorts, which I will wear during the run portion. Actually, the clothing goes like this: wetsuit, and under the wetsuit a quick dry sports bra and tri shorts, when I transfer to the bike portion I will throw on a biking jersey, and when I transfer to the running portion I just throw on another shirt, if I want. I am also probably going to buy special biking shoes that will lock into special pedals, which I will also need to buy.

Also, I learned about "nutrition" which is apparently different from food. It is quick digesting gels and gummy things that you jam into your pockets (that are conveniently located on the back of your shirt) and eat during the race. I have a pretty fickle stomach and am particular about eating and exercising, so I asked for more details after the clinic. Apparently, you burn up so much energy, that if you don't eat, your performance will go down. Welcome to endurance sports, Heidi.

So, some things that I have avoided my whole life- biking spandex and "nutrition" gels... apparently I will become quite familiar with. I sort of dread this. Stay tuned.

Anyways, I went home and my friend Aileen had sent me a website that she buys all her swimming gear at. So, I bought a new swimming suit and some laces that I'll take a picture of later- but basically they let you slip on your shoe without having to tie it. I just need to get those pedals, a cycling kit (for repairs), a new water bottle for my bike, some new running shoes and cycling shoes, tri shorts, tri swimming goggles, and a cycling jersey with back pockets.

Ah, shopping... the best part of training!

I don't like the gym

So, today the bike ride outside didn't happen because it snowed!!! yay snow!! big, beautiful, wet, smack you in the face snow. a city in winter is the most beautiful city.

Anyways, I had to go to the gym at UIC to bike. I get there, and of course, the bikes along the window aren't working- I tried to turn them all on, but no luck. There was one bike in a different area that has this tv screen attached so you can ride the bike through a virtual environment. So I hopped on and picked an easy trail and off I went. Except that every time I had to turn, I got nauseous from the virtual environment. Also, the first 10 minutes of the bike ride I spent trying to make my bike go off the trail, like some 14 year old miscreant (it wouldn't go off the trail- boring). Around minute 20 I started to feel good, and my calves weren't hurting today, so it was nice. I biked about 6 or 7 miles, which was a lot harder then I thought it would be, and by that I mean I was covered in sweat and felt like death at the end. I'm surprised I made it the whole way, considering I almost fell off my bike every time I had to make a turn...

Ah gyms... I will never like using you.

Also, my appetite has gone crazy the past few days. I ate so much today, and feel really good... working out makes me hungry, right away. I found myself day dreaming about food today, something I really never do. crazy!

Tomorrow is the gear clinic, where I learn what I need to buy.

The many layers of Heidi

Notice the double layer of leggings and workout pants.

Note here I am wearing a wicked white tshirt, under a wicked long-sleeved light hoodie, under another heavier hoodie with pockets.

Winter running is a fun athletic feat in itself. Please note the upside-down head warmer. please find the irony in the fact that it says Harvard on it (i got it free from work). Also be assured that it was fixed before running outside.

It was 25 degrees yesterday, so running was... interesting- I got a dry throat about 10 minutes in, and had to break up my 30 min run into two smaller 15 min runs with a stretch in between. Today I ran for about 20 min, and my gastrocnemius (calf) muscles were sore. The cold was much better at 30 degrees. Pretty nice, in fact. I'd much rather run in cold weather.

Let's face it guys, running in the city means that lots of people see you as you run. As a (former) sprinter, I usually start off really fast on my runs, and tend to speed up whenever passing someone or running by someone. But when no one is around, I slow down quite a bit and regain my breath. If you ever see me running by you at a fast speed, it is all for show. Because lets be serious, when no one is around, I am a slow turtle indeed.

I'm hoping I'll find my pace the longer the runs get as I go on.

Tomorrow is a 35 min bike- I think I'll treat myself to a nice long bike along the lake, if no snow has accumulated.

di