One of the things I like about myself is my sieve-like memory. My sister is constantly reminding me of us growing up- telling me all these stories that I have no recollection of. I remember what I want, but am great at forgetting whatever I no longer wish to remember. Because of this poor memory, I don't really carry grudges- I've never really been mad at someone for very long. I just can't remember all the reasons why I was mad at them... although I do learn lessons. I've learned it is impossible to remain friends with everyone, and sometimes it is not in my best interest to remain friends. Part of my reason for writing this blog is so that I remember things that I want to remember. And what follows is something I never want to forget.
If you can't tell from my vague words in previous posts, a relationship in my life recently ended. This has never really happened to me before, and I was kind of intrigued to see how long it would take me to "get over" it and "move on." Well, I've got to tell you, it didn't take long.
I had one moment a while back where some young hipster boys on the train were talking about their band, and how they should set up their speakers, and wondering if they should wear capes, of all things, and it was hilarious and exactly the sort of thing I would have texted him, but then I realized... I had at least 5 other friends that I could text at that exact same moment and they would have enjoyed the story just as much. And then I realized, I was over him. I didn't need him. But then, you see, I never did.
So while my memory may and probably will completely forget him one day maybe 20 years from now, I will take my lessons, and cling to them dearly and use them wisely. And if he should bob to the surface of my thoughts or memories, I will simply look at him as a curiosity, and remember a relationship when I should have spoken sooner than I did, and then let it, and him, drift away... and whisper quietly to myself... never mind.
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