November 08, 2010

I keep thinking about this blue pot

Let me tell you why this pot moved me like a magnet to it's side, just so.

The shape, that perfect perfect shape. Just look at it from the side:
Do you see that perfect swoop from top to bottom that finishes at just the right balanced distance from the rim? Do you see that swoop?

I yearn to make the perfect profile on a pot- I have thrown hundreds of pots and have yet to make a profile I am even remotely proud of. It is a slow, arduous process that might take my whole life.
It is a task worthy of a lifetime.

And then there is the color.Beautiful, pure, robin's egg blue at just the right thickness to let a bit of the clay underneath come through. Perfect.

In a year, nothing has moved me more than this pot to start throwing pottery again. Alas, I need to finish my research, and then I am going to indulge until my skin is worn off at the wrists from throwing all day!! Maybe, just maybe, some day, I will have a wheel and kiln of my own. I have wanted this since high school. Maybe by next year, just maybe.

le sigh.

Do you ever dream about what you would do, had you the ability to not have to work 40+ hours a week?

Now that I've said what I wanted, I will say nothing more about this pot. Just know that it is stuck in my thoughts, stuck in my mind, and it has started pulling at my mind-thoughts until I will throw again, and then it will pull at my muscles until my fingers shape something just as worthy.

I went to the SOFA exhibit this weekend with some friends. It was inspiring. My one comment is that I wish they had more ceramics and less glassware. Also, everything seemed to have a whimsical edge to it this year, that pleased me very much.



this is my new train project:
YES! those are safety pins!

November 07, 2010

Still madly in love with England.

100th post!

I can't help myself but wear color in the fall; it's as though I am envious of the trees and their jeweled leaves. I wore fuchsia-purple tights, a dark blue striped top and bright red coat today to church.
I shocked all the Lutherans today.

Here is some new biking/running gear I got this week as well.
I'd like to see you try to get in here, cold!

This top has a pocket in the side and a hood and little pockets for your fingertips in case the cold tries to get in. I got it at Campmor and paid a pretty penny, but it will be my main cold weather insulator, and may keep me biking to below 20 degrees....


This is an simple underarmour long sleeve that fits perfectly and thus I will go as long as I can without washing it, lest it shrinks. It is super comfortable and I wore it for my run today, and with a heavier underarmour tshirt underneath, it was perfect warmth for a 40 degree day. Running, maybe not so much walking- then I needed an extra hoodie. I bought it because it was labeled Heat Gear which I thought mean to keep you warm on cold days, but indeed, is meant to keep you cool on hot days. It works well for cold weather layering regardless!

Balaclava's are a must if you want to pretend to be athletic.

Here I am in my balaclava, wherein I feel like a cold-weather ninja. Don't you just love the word balaclava?


This is the pièce de résistance, the one that keeps me warmest, driest, happiest, above all. The Showers Pass Double Century Rain Jacket. Which I love because it blocks out all wind and rain, and yet has super breathability so you don't feel all humid inside. It also has a lower cut backside so that when I bend over my bike I am not exposing my bare back to the world. Another nice feature is a cloth lining around the neck so that you don't feel the cold plastic against your chin. I got this style because it is the most compressible, and wads up nicely to fit into my backpack if I don't need it, when commuting. I only wish it had pockets in the front. But there is a large pocket in the back. love. it.

Good gear is so important. Also, it is quality stuff, built to last through anything. I have found it a necessity when biking and exercising, to be properly clothed. I used to be a cotton t-shirt, old pair of gym shorts person, and that got me through 10 years of track from grade school through college. But now that I bike every day and run on the weekends, in all weather, proper gear is just so much better.

And a 100 dollar biking jacket is still way less than a 3,000 dollar used car!

November 06, 2010

Today? I ran further than ever before.


I even ran some of the hills. I didn't notice they were hills, they weren't so steep, so they don't really count.

I have a few rules when I run:

1. Life is too short to be spending it in agony running uphill. No one loves running uphill. Hills suck. Take them slow, enjoy the view at the top, then run willy-nilly down the hill, but don't pretend you like running uphill because I don't believe you for one minute.

2. Run as naked as possible. And by this I mean with as little gear as you can get by. And as lightweight clothes as possible. There is nothing worse than over-dressing for a run, or having to run carrying a large bunch of keys. If you don't need it, don't run with it. Some of my best runs have been without music, with just the rhythm of my heartbeat and breath and steps in my ears.

3. Always run for the love of it. Running to lose weight or get in shape are worthy reasons, but for myself, I run for the sheer joy of movement. The joy of running as fast as I can (I can never run long without sprinting a bit) or to work out a problem in my head or to get some emotion, that is too big to be contained in my body, out. Running is my therapy, it is my love, it is my joy.

So, here are some pictures from today. I'm in a fair amount of pain, but I did it, and at around 10 min miles, so whooooohoooo! After this I am falling promptly into a deep slumber.

Here are the two lovely girls I ran with, and mine's shadow. Lexie's is on the left, Pionek is in the middle, and I'm on the end. This was taken about halfway through.


This is a view of the race after we'd hit the half way mark. The lake was lovely. It was cold, and I wore three layers on top- an under armor Tshirt, with an under armor long sleeve over it, and my favorite zip up over that. I carried tissues, my keys, and my iphone in my zipoup.


Pionek and I after the race. She was a huge motivator during the race and stuck by my side even though she could have easily have gone much faster! So much more fun running with friends.

November 04, 2010

on how i dodged the rain and came home (fairly) dry

this might turn into an ode to Showers Pass- you have been warned.

So last weekend I bought some high quality bike clothing gear to make my rides more enjoyable. Rides like the one tonight, in 25 degree weather and a light fall freezing rain. Rides that are more about surviving the ride than enjoying it, although truth- there is some enjoyment in struggling to get somewhere. I'm convinced cars have completely removed the element of the struggle to get to a destination from our lives. Is this a bad thing? Sometimes. You miss a lot in a car.

For instance, let me describe to you my bike commute in Lake Bluff. I (usually ungracefully) lug my bike down the steep train car stairs and stand on the platform as out of the way as possible with all the other commuters (mostly med students and professors and some Navy), freezing in the cold Lake Bluff air, less than a mile from Lake Michigan. I wait for everyone to cross the tracks so I don't accidentally run anyone over with my bike, and then I cross, and go the opposite direction of everyone else, to the trail.

I hop on my bike, adjust my helmet, strap on some gloves, and take off down the trail. Immediately there is a steep switchback and I pick up a lot of speed going down a blind corner that is getting less and less blind as the trees lose their leaves. While careening down this hill I always pause mentally and look at these beautiful tiny purple flowers that grow in stark contrast to the dark trees around them. Then with a rush I zoom under the train tracks, where a freight train is usually parked making clicking and sighing noises as it awaits repairs or a free track, and drips wet (oil?) on the trail beneath.

The first 3 minutes of the ride are the hardest, as they are slightly uphill and in dark, compact woods with tall trees lining both sides. In the summer this was the coolest part of the trail and I looked forward to it; in the winter, now, it is the coldest part of the trail and the cold nearly knocks me off my bike. My face immediately freezes and I imagine I can feel my lungs recoil as I force cold air through them at suddenly rapid rates. (did you know you don't sweat in winter bc that energy is spent trying to warm the air you inhale?) Out of the woods, I go under a bridge and through a cement tunnel that closes it's gates from dusk to dawn, and I read that sign every day, and think in my mind what if they one day got it wrong and it was closed from dawn to dusk and that if I were homeless or needed shelter in a storm I would try to get here as fast as possible, and then I wonder if the gates are automated or if someone comes and closes them at dusk and opens them at dawn, and if so, if that is their only job, and they have a huge giant key on one huge giant key ring that unlocks and locks the gates.... and I think these thoughts nearly every morning and then lastly, as I begin to exit the tunnel, I admire the cool colors of the tunnel contrasted with the early morning sun outside the tunnel turning the cold earth warm yellow-green colors and the sky a warmer, lighter blue, and think for a moment about cool and warm colors and when they are contrasted in nature I almost fall down in worship every time at the beauty, kind of like this photographer and his gorgeous photos and sculptures: http://www.runeguneriussen.no/wallno04/04_10.html

But I digress.

After the tunnel (where those thoughts tumble through my frozen brain at record speed and I nearly die from the beauty of the colors) I go through some weeds that in the late summer were all sorts of reds and golds and purples and always made me turn my head to stare at their beauty for as long as possible. After this I come into more civilized land and pass the water refinery plant with its gated drive and its fountain in the front, that in the summer would spray cool water on me. Then I pass the nature reserve center where dark men in green uniforms are usually trimming some hedge, raking some leaves, or mowing some grass. They are all the same stature and build and I often think of them as though they are oompahloompahs and wonder if they are all related and then I envy them for their job as they get to work outside year-round. They do all the landscaping in the area. They always notice me on my bike and are willing to wait for me to pass lest they are working over the trail. I appreciate this and usually nod or smile to them as I whiz by at 15mph.

Then I cross a bridge over a creek and I take a moment to turn my head and admire the water flowing past. After that there is a marsh on the other side of the road and I like to watch the mist rise slowly some mornings and hang over the pond on the edge of the marsh. Sometimes this is the most eeriebeautiful thing one can witness, and only occurs when the sun has first arisen.

Then I pass the fourth drive that crosses the trail, the one to the landscaping business, the one where I T-boned an SUV. Here I always slow way down and look both ways repeatedly, but the drivers, since my accident, are always watching for me too, and will stop and wait for me to bike by, after I make and hold eye contact with them. (There is nothing more annoying than a driver that will not make eye contact with you.) Then I pass the tall electric power lines, all grouped and lined up like soldiers and listen for the high whine of electricity buzzing overhead. After that I cross some more railroad tracks and lift myself out of my seat, as these tracks are very bumpy and the trail on both sides doesn't quite meet the tracks. (biking to the train station over these tracks makes me feel like a mountain biker, as it takes some dexterity to stay on top of my bike, and there is a steep hill on the other side that makes you pick up speed immediately.) Then I pass the car dealership and a road where people never watch for bikes, and then the bridge over a highway where I pause and watch the speeding cars below, and feel sorry that they have to be in cars and aren't biking and have witnessed all that I have just witnessed on the trail. There is construction on this bridge, and I also usually pause to figure out what they are working on that morning.

Then I pass the used car dealership and the garage full of workers and remember if anything happened to my bike one of them could probably help me out in a pinch. They work in the garages with the doors closed in the winter. Then I cut through the used car dealership's drive and zoom off the bike trail onto the industrial park road. Here the drivers never notice me either, which means I have to notice them, which makes it slightly stressful. But for a moment, while on the trail I was biking west, on this drive through the industrial park I bike east for maybe 100 yards, and directly into the morning sun. It hits the frosted or dewy grass (depending on the temperature) and makes it sparkle with more brilliance than a well-cut diamond. I always have thought that raindrops and dew on the grass is more stunning than the most stunning diamond ring or earring or necklace that I have ever seen. I think if more people knew about raindrops and dew in the first rays of sunlight, the world, in general, might be nicer.

I round a corner and am heading south, passing the geese that sit there and stare at me, and the willows that line the drainage ditch. This past week a goose got hit by a car and it's innards were spread across the road. At first I felt very sad for the goose and could barely look at it. All the other geese didn't return for two days. After biking past it twice, I started to identify body parts and how it probably died, my inquisitive science- side taking over. I really want to take a feather from it, but am unconvinced that it wouldn't be full of germs.

Almost at work, I cut across parking lot and head directly for a row of bushes and weeds in the back of the lot. I hop off my bike for a moment to lift it over the curb and look left, to the east, to see the sun rise over a marsh full of cattails and a row of trees. Every single day, this view has been gorgeous. I can see a full expanse of sky over the marsh (so much sky is something very rare in a city) and the gray clouds or dark clouds or all blue sky and no clouds never fail to look so gorgeous hanging right over the auburn and gold cattails. Then I pass through the bushes over the dirt trail worn by me and other bikers, and take note of all the birds singing in the bushes around me, and the little moles that dart over the trail, and these three tall thistles that bloomed in the summer but are now dried stalks of such interesting texture. They are about two more bike rides away from getting named. I push through all this into the back of another parking lot, turn left, bike past the workers that are waiting in their cars (when it's cold) or outside their cars (when it's warm) and try not to notice as they watch me keenly as they wait for their warehouse to open. I imagine they say things to each other like, that girl is crazy to be biking this early in this weather, etc etc. I lift my bike over another curb into my company's parking lot, usually speed up through a puddle that is always in the middle of the lot, and splash it everywhere (I can't help myself) and then unlock the warehouse door, push my bike through, and set it up in the warehouse, in my "bike" spot.

Phew. That, my friends, is one third of my morning commute. Every day there is something different- in summer there were low- flying bugs bigger than dragonflies that would zoom and zag over the bike path with no regard to my presence. One day I saw a tiny blind vole or mole sitting smack in the middle of the yellow painted dashes dividing the path into two lanes. It seemed to like the yellow color, sniffing it, and wandering away for a bit, them coming back to the yellow. I completely understood, as I am quite enamored with yellow myself right now, and I told it that, and then hopped back on my bike and went on. (yes, I do find myself talking to animals now and again). And one morning the sun had just risen and there was mist over the entire trail, and the moon was still up. It was the most eriebeautiful thing and I would have taken a picture, but for now, these images are all mine, and I am hoarding them in my memory, and now writing about them in a most selfish manner. I hope you can forgive me. I just am not quite willing to share the images yet.

Then there is my 3 mile ride in the city which I do twice a day, which is an entirely different experience. I will write about that one day, but not now. This is a lot, and I must go get something done.

And maybe one day I will share some pictures. But they won't do it justice, and I just implore you to go out, find a trail, find some nature, and get a bike between your legs. It really is quite simply divine.

hrm, this didn't turn into an ode for Showers Pass at all. That will have to be for another entry, I guess!

My goodness I just saw how long this really is. And I could have gone into even more detail!! I don't really expect anyone to read this entire post. I'm not sure whether to apologize for it's length or not. No, I don't think I will.

October 31, 2010

Thy strong word did cleave the darkness

Happy Reformation Day! Also, my Baptism Birthday.

Also, Happy Halloween!
Photo taken by Lauren Timpson, 2009

October 30, 2010

to my donors, aka the fantastic ones.


I need to write this post, it has long been a burden on my mind. I need to write a THANK YOU post for all the people that donated to my triathlon and encouraged me along the way- asking how training was, offering their tips and advice, encouraging me through my mono, and, essentially, giving a bit of themselves to help people in far more unfortunate physical condition than ourselves.

For what it's worth, I admire each person immensely.

Let's start with what my donors did for the LLS. Their donation, no matter how small, helped fund research for blood cancers. Every 4 minutes one person is diagnosed with a blood cancer. Most likely, you know someone or know someone who knows someone who has had blood cancer. Blood cancers will account for nearly 9.5 percent of the deaths from cancer in 2010. That number has decreased from 1998 to 2007, in part because of the funding for research.

I wish each one of my donors could have been there when one of our "honored heroes" (a person who had survived a form of blood cancer) got up to speak about their experience and what TNT meant to them. I thought of many of their faces and stories as I ran the triathlon- from Noah, who isn't even one and is battling Leukemia, to a girl my age who has already beaten cancer, to Fironza who now, after battling Lymphoma, trains for TNT events with her entire family. What different lives they have led, what struggles they have faced that are a bazillion times worse than my struggles, what lessons they have learned and scars they will carry for the rest of their lives. And because of YOUR donations (my donors), they most of all feel supported in their illness, and encouraged that one day, there may be a cure. Support, hope, and encouragement can go a longgg way.

And now, what the donors have meant to me. This triathlon was a bit of a purging for me, this year was hands down the most difficult year of my life, for many reasons. And, for many reasons, I decided on last New Years I needed a physical activity that would consume my time, mind, and body. I also had an overwhelming desire to do something, anything, for someone else. This came together seamlessly in TNT. But I could not have done it, would not have trained nearly as hard (to the point of exhaustion and mono, even!) had I not had support. I hope you all realize how nonathletic and uncoordinated I am. Or, was, before this triathlon undertaking. I called my dad right after I had signed up with TNT for the tri, and he said, are you sure? do you really think you can do this? And he wasn't being negative, he just really knew my athletic ability, and even more so, my drive to see a task through (let me count the things I have started and left unfinished...). The only reason I even completed a tri, and even after mono, was because I had such support. I was so concerned about raising 2,600 dollars- I had never fundraised in my life- but, when that first donation for 100 dollars came through, I realized I had underestimated the generosity of my friends, and I would be ok. I got a thrill every time someone donated or came out to support a TNT event. The fact that in the end, over 3,000 dollars for TNT was donated on my page, blows me away.

It's been a ride full of ups and downs, and even huge giant waves, and spandex, and lots of food and tears and sweat, but you, my donors, are the fantastic ones. I have learned, through each of you, what generosity truly is. I hope you feel thanked. You deserve it. If not, you know how to reach me, and I will thank you some more!!!

Also, the paintings will be coming shortly.

oh what a day is today


This is a post from the archives of my memory- this picture was taken 6 years ago on the train from London to Bruges, Belgium on the weekend of my 22nd birthday. My friend I traveled with and I were (and still are) huge readers, and I'm reading some Virginia Woolf in that pic, maybe A Room of One's Own. Our college in London was in Regent's Park and we would spend every spare moment in the Park reading. Long warm fall afternoons would pass by without notice as we were entranced by Oscar Wilde and Virginia Woolf. (I tried to stick to Irish/British authors, there's nothing as familiar as Woolf writing about Big Ben's bell tolling and then hearing it for oneself at the same moment.) Our roommate, an English major from Boston, would lend us books and we would devour them. We read on trains, in hostels, in parks, on planes, boats.... books were the first things packed. Actually, we would always travel with three things- a book, a mug, and Nutella. Somehow, each new city seemed less foreign with these three things in my pack.

I feel a pull to return to London, to live. It is very hard to stay still right now, here in Chicago. London was my first taste of living in a city, and I would do almost everything differently now that I am a bit of a pro at city living. But I did well enough for my first city- I fell in love with the Victoria and Albert museum, memorized the Renaissance collection at the National Gallery, found discount book stores, memorized the Tube system, and visited every neighboring country. Not bad for a country girl.

Meanwhile, this (now city) girl did not get blown away in the "Chiclone" this week. I didn't bike only one day and cabbed, bussed, and bummed a ride instead. It was, however, brutally cold at 28 degrees a few mornings and I am going out today to buy a nice quality biking jacket, which I realized, will be used probably more than any of my other clothing. I am also debating purchasing cycling shoes (the ones with cleats) (I think they're called cleats) but we'll see. I figure I have about a month of biking before it gets too cold.

Next Sunday I am running the Hot Chocolate 15k here in Chicago. I ran 4 miles last Sunday with my friend, and that was the third time I ran since the tri. It didn't hurt too bad. I wasn't able to run all this week on account of the "Chiclone" but will try to make a better effort today and tomorrow and this upcoming week. 15k is intimidating!! I'll basically be running it without training... hope those 12 miles of biking a day is enough to make it without being too sore. After all, I do need to be able to bike to work on Monday....

Have a lovely weekend, I do so cherish my weekends.

October 25, 2010

Stay tuned

tut tut, it looks like rain.

60 mph winds and they're calling it the"storm of the century" and you can almost feel in the air tonight the power of the wind about to sweep Chicago clean.

Needless to say, I won't be biking to work the next two days, or be getting my runs in as hoped this week, as this storm is coming tonight and staying awhile. Frustrating, as I do love biking so (you should have seen the trail in Lake Bluff this morning- misty, moon still up, jeweled leaves and trees dark with rain) and bussing and cabbing it take FOREVER and are sooooo much so less satisfying

although it will be nice to not have to bring a change of clothes with me tomorrow

although i will be sure to get soaked, so I will need to wear layers

even so,

30-60mph winds are enough to make me say nope to biking in the wind. The most windy I've biked was 24mph, and that was rather difficult (in the midst of construction season too). and sunny and in the middle of the day. AND the next few days will be rainy.

so batten down the hatches, this storm is coming!

this picture taken on Dover beach, Dover, England, by my traveling friend, Wendy.

sometimes I am madly in love with this city

October 24, 2010

i'm feeling random

some days you just want to sit and play harmonica in the rain.

and then tango, of course.

October 23, 2010

unfettered.

That's my life without facebook: unfettered.

I find that I have more interesting thoughts, deeper sleep, feel more relaxed in general, and spend more time reading or cooking or talking with real live actual people in real actual life, rather than virtually. I'm happier with my life, as I've stopped incessantly trying to sum up events into one witty status update, or compare my life to all my "friends". (Which ps. is a misnomer). I'm not sure if this just speaks of my insecurities and jealousies, or addictive behavior, and I don't really care. I try to keep happy things in my life and get a rid of things that make me unhappy. like most people. so no more fb. anyway, enough of that.

I just got back from a stretch and strength class and then an adv. ballet class (which i was totally lost in!). And I need to run yet today. Since when did my life become all about physical exercise?

Somewhere in the middle of the stretch and strength class I felt a muscle relax in my face that I think has been clenched for i don't know maybe my whole life. So, needless to say, I feel super relaxed and confident and fantastic right now. Also, humbled. My stretching needs a lot of work. I swear that strength and stretch class opens shakras and realigns my energy flows or something... It's amazing after biking all week to just stretch for an hour. yay!

October 19, 2010

some recent additions to my life

Nature: I cannot live without it. And so I bought a tent:

Lounging in the sun in the grass is my favorite activity, hands down:

Mozart's Requiem at the Basilica of St. Josaphat in Milwaukee? Yes indeed. Thanks, bro!

He grew so much in a month!

October 18, 2010

Trebuchets?

Y@, we know just how you feel.

(my brother N8, and nephew Y@)

October 15, 2010

Nothing like complete exhaustion

the atrophy of
complete
defeat.



When I have recharged, I will write, but not a moment sooner.






Here is a photo of the best cream of wheat in the world in the meantime.
Sometimes I just really miss Boston.

October 11, 2010

hello, there


It's good to see you.

I promise I have a few things I need to finish up about the tri. Here is the list of upcoming posts:

1. bike accouterments for the tri
2. plans for additional tri's
3. what actually happened on race day and the events leading up to it
4. some very important thank yous
5. advice for future tri's

Also, I am biking 12 miles a day now for my commute, and running a 15k in a month, so have started running as of today. I'll post about how that's going and things I've noticed.

And finally, this blog will now become more than about just triathlons. I've deleted my facebook account, and will use this blog to write about my art projects, observations, and other narcissistic generally useless things that I will probably find amusing to read back upon some day and you might get a laugh out of now.

But for now, I would like to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who donated to the tri. The support blew me away, and came at a time in my life when I needed it just as bad as the LLS needed it. So thank you, you will probably never know what it fully means to me.

Another thank you post will follow.


This is my pooch, Annie. Say hello to her nose.