Stressss

This week has been filling me up with stress. It started Monday morning, with crippling nausea. The nausea usually passes by the afternoon, but it makes it very hard to get out of bed. But the odd part is I'm not even sure what's making me soooo stressed out, other than the failure of research not getting done this semester, and the drama of resolved issues leaving my life, and my mind needs to fill all that thinking-space up with something else? I don't know. It sort of feels like I've been shook up, and the aftershocks are still going through my being.

Not very fun.

I've been writing a lot- a few pages every day on the train, and of course here in my blog. I've also been organizing my room at night, and cleaning, adjusting everything after I switched it all up last week. Somehow this makes me feel better.

I think also some of this comes from so many things I want to accomplish that I can't even prioritize right now. Things I am looking forward to this summer:

1. Finishing my research at the end of June.
2. Beach volleyball team!
3. Soccer team!
4. Ballet and hip hop classes and possibly swing classes
5. Pottery
6. Triathlons (2)
7. Trips to CA, STL, Eau Claire, Kansas City (?), MS, and prob Boston
8. Updating my portfolio
9. One month of Bikram yoga (thanks Groupon!)
10. Camping!!

Too much, yes? With a full time job and 3 hours of commuting every day? oy.

This could definitely possibly most absolutely be the source of my stress.

But what do I cut out???

like how am i, like, going to do this?

I literally cannot find time to train. Besides the 6 miles of biking mon, wed, thurs. which could count for 12 miles bc my rear tire is flat...

I am exhausted by the time I get home each night. And weekends are spent recovering from the week, and honestly, I'm a little afraid the mono is coming back because I get really weak spells where I get dizzy.

I'm eating like 2,000+ calories a day and am still hungry! and somehow through all this my ab muscles are becoming ridiculously defined. Which brings my closer to my Christmas wish of abs like Shakira.

I can't believe I just admitted that I want Shakira abs by Christmas in a public space.





........










please don't judge me.



Well, I will give myself this week to adjust... maybe it's just getting used to the new job's time schedule. If I can eat dinner on the train ride home maybe I can run or bike by the time I get home and then collapse in bed and get up and do it all over again.... this is the only thing I can think of. And I'd really like to get to swim with the team wed nights, so I need to figure out how to get back into the city by 7. oy! oy! oy!

I am going to try to get a long bike ride in Saturday with a FRIEND before KIM ACTON'S bachelorette party which will be so fabulous.

indeed.