I am notoriously bad at challenges, but here it goes.
Day one, I am going to use a photo from over the weekend, because I am still so thankful for that camping trip! I am also thankful for the sound of wind in the trees, it is worth all my cds.
May 22, 2012
thirty thankful days
she over at the amazing blog speaking for herself is starting a thirty thankful days challenge. I am going to post one picture a day of something I am thankful for, and for the next 30 days, refrain from buying anything that isn't food or gas, unless it's a gift. for someone else.
I am notoriously bad at challenges, but here it goes.
Day one, I am going to use a photo from over the weekend, because I am still so thankful for that camping trip! I am also thankful for the sound of wind in the trees, it is worth all my cds.
I am notoriously bad at challenges, but here it goes.
Day one, I am going to use a photo from over the weekend, because I am still so thankful for that camping trip! I am also thankful for the sound of wind in the trees, it is worth all my cds.
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one, i'm so glad you're joining me. it's only day six for me, but it's already day six, and this project (i think "project" is a less intimidating word for my psyche than "challenge" which holds the potential for failure...look at me, coddling myself...) has been hard and constructive for me in all the ways i expected it to be. the concepts of desire and acquisition are such complex issues, at least to me. more on that later.
ReplyDeletetwo...this photo is GORGEOUS. serene but thrilling at the same time.
look forward to seeing more!
I like the term project better too... it suggests you can work at it slowly until it's done. and thanks for the great thankful idea! I have been feeling too much like a consumer lately, so this will be a good refocus.
ReplyDeletethanks about the photo! it practically took itself, lifted the camera from my hands and snapped itself, and dropped the camera back into my hands. i just got out of the way. i swear it, this happened. :)
yes, it's very interesting to me how i want want want (which i keep telling myself is NOT a bad thing - but how i channel my desire is what i need to be careful about), and i'm often able to satisfy that want. with every thing that i want and obtain, and how easy it is to do that these days, it's like my TRUE desire gets tarnished a little.
ReplyDeletei'm having a hard time explaining this.
when i don't have to work that hard to get things, what i think i'm feeling after a long time not really curtailing my acquisition of stuff is a general numbness. like, i'll buy something i don't even really want that badly just because i can. and then i can't even tell what i DO want sometimes. or i lack motivation to go after / save for what i REALLY want because it seems too hard.
so then i'm left in a mountain of stuff, some of which i really love and wanted in the first place, and a lot of which i acquired mindlessly because i was bored, i was at target and who wouldn't want a cute new notebook/tank top/pair of shoes, or because i was feeling a little down that day and subconsciously went and bought something because i knew for a little while it would distract me from what i was feeling.
these things seem so simple, but they're surprisingly hard to articulate sometimes, at least for me. so i hope this project is like a reset for me.
what do i want(materially speaking)?
what do i really want(intangibly speaking)?
how am i trying to satisfy the latter by addressing the former?
what do i really need?
longest comment ever? perhaps.
that's just me being me :)
thanks for listening.
ugh, yes. those are all the questions that I need to answer at this stage in my life! I really want to save for a trip to iceland/london this fall, but saving that much money seems INSANE. not to mention, i have the not so lofty goal to get out of my debt by the time i am 30 (4 months away!) But really, when I add up all the useless stuff I buy that I don't need, I probably could afford two trips to iceland a year. and be out of debt next month.
ReplyDeleteso. yes. I think small things add up, which to me, someone who focuses on distance, is an impossible thing to believe at times. but it's true. not spending on the things that are conveniently cute can accumulate to more money, or maybe more answers, or clarification, or who knows.... i don't think i've ever really tried. i think this project will certainly be a good start to answering those questions.
another thought. I've always felt (as a not fully committed hippie-artist) that I should create more than i consume. I'd like to try that one day, to try creating everything I need/want. which isn't entirely practical, i mean how do you make gas or shoes, but still. or maybe every time i buy something, i create something too. i wonder how or if that would change me...
i like your long comments, comment on!
i love having this conversation. not because shopping is evil, but because it's bringing a lot more intentionality to how i think about stuff. and saving...not just money, but myself, too...
ReplyDeleteit is AMAZING to me that going to starbucks 4 out of 7 days a week is $25. that's $100/month. $1200/year. what?! you're right. very small things (that are also very easy and accessible not not evil...drive-thru starbucks, on my way somewhere, takes 4 minutes, no big deal, right?) add up quickly. but since i dole that out in such small increments, not only is it hard for me to conceive just how it adds up, it's also hard for me to imagine that being more intentional about the small stuff really benefits me in the long run.
but i think the issue of consumerism versus creativity is a perfectly resplendent addition to this conversation...because i don't think that un-learning unintentional consumerism should be a punitive, restrictive, shame (or desperation!) induced activity. humans ALWAYS learn these things more kindly and more deeply if there is something constructive to replace the original habit. i actually think the ratio of one-for-one, or some kind of ratio, is a great way to go about it. because otherwise so many things are just hard to quantify and it would be easy to get defeated. next project? :)
um, word verification on that last comment?
ReplyDelete"donotu diedMan"
blogger, you weirdo.
Hrm, i like that idea of learning on a ratio basis- of having something constructive to replace a habit. Especially in the context of thoughts, which are the hardest to stop or control or even assess in the moment. Yes, next project, I am game!
ReplyDeletei wonder if all things work like starbucks- that adding up unintentional small things that aren't tangible, like looks, or words, or actions, are what shapes our interactions, our relationships, maybe even our futures. sometimes i get so caught up in the big picture i dont even stop to think about these smaller things that make up the bigger picture. i just wonder if it's not only money that goes from small to large so quickly, even when its unintentional. in fact, especially when it's unintentional. I might not be making sense and I might be overtired so I'm going to leave this thought for my commute tomorrow.
haha, blogger = so weird. :)
i read this comment when you posted it and had to think about it for a couple days before saying anything --- because my adores-the-abstract mind is REALLY taking hold of the idea of this concept (re-training ourselves via constructive habit replacement) on the intangible side of things. i hadn't even considered the fact that the idea of things incrementally adding up to something much larger is mirrored interpersonally, emotionally.
ReplyDeletei'll say this: choosing to be intentional (which is somewhat of a redundant phrase, but i don't care right now) about something makes you wonder if you could be intentional about more things. and then you realize you can, and you could...it's just whether or not you want to make the effort to be so. because it IS a huge effort! everything in today's world is so EASY in some ways...internet shopping, yes, but even just watching a show on netflix and immediately having the next episode ready and waiting and then four hours later it's 3am and you've watched all of season one of LOST...that kind of thing. because there are nights to stay up all night but most nights are not those nights!
even just solitude...solitude is my default, the thing that's easiest for me to do, whether it's because most of my closest friends are so far away or because it's simply more convenient/comfortable for me to do things by myself. i wouldn't say this is unhealthy, but in enormous uninterrupted doses? not sure.
and then there's this thing that happens when you start examining your life as a type A, perfectionistic, task-oriented individual: you start examining EVERYTHING and suddenly EVERYTHING seems like it needs improvement. then i get daunted. and it paralyzes me.
okay...zooming out...everything is okay. one thing at a time. because this is the only way to do anything at all.
oh i just read this comment. hrm, i agree with what you are saying, which, perhaps boiled down, is that balance is really what we should be striving for, nearly anything in large doses can be toxic. and that is probably easier than trying to be intentional all the time.
ReplyDeleteand then also that bit about being intentional about more things, and yes! it is a huge effort! and maybe that effort shouldn't always be made, because if everything we did was intentional and well balanced and not caught up in any LOST moment, well... sounds rather boring to me. indulgent moments can be some of the best.
i was thinking of also of all those unintentional ways that we communicate- all those nonverbals that make up, what, 90% of our communication... how do they shape our relationships? I think about this most when I've broken up with someone- I start to re-examine every thought and word and action and gesture, and find evidence that predicts the end, way before it even ended. sure, it's not entirely healthy to do this, but that aside- do our words that we never meant to hurt, the unintentional looks, add up to a broken relationship? and this is probably not a bad thing, or a good thing, it just is, and the way it is, and the way it is to be. the whole painting is made up of tiny brushstrokes, anyway.
and then, i start to think... what if we COULD control all of those unintentional nonverbals... could we control our futures? others lives? others perceptions of us? its impossible, but still fun to think about.
and then also what about that inner dialogue that so often turns to negative in our minds? what if all of that dialogue, all those little words and phrases and narrate our life, what if that adds up to our reality, and our decision making, and, ultimately, shapes our future? what if we could control one small part of that dialogue? could train ourselves to shape it to the future or reality that we wanted? could it add up to something different?
i think my imagination runs away with me tonight. i do enjoy these blogger comment discussions, though, it is too rare to find someone so willing to go down random rabbit holes!